As an African American 16 year old girl growing up in a predominately white town during the Black Lives Matter movement I can say it’s exhausting and emotional. Since George Floyd and Breonna Taylors deaths, BLM has recently been “in trend”. I watch as my white peers post their black screens, show up to protests, and claim their allyship. I sit there thinking to myself, but where were you when it wasn’t in trend? Where were you when your white friend was saying the n word? Where were you when the racial justice groups asked you to come to one of their meetings? Where were you when you heard that blatant racist joke or remark, but said nothing? It’s extremely frustrating to see people recognize my community’s pain when it’s convenient to them. When it makes their feed look good and when they want to feel good about themselves. The performative activists are annoying enough, but then you have your All Lives Matter peers. Half of them don’t even know the background of this protest. All Lives Matter is a protest against Black Lives Matter. This protest silences the voices of the black community and was created to counter BLM and make it seem that the black community is not oppressed. The majority of my classmates  don’t understand the true meaning behind All Lives Matter as well as the true meaning behind Black Lives Matter. I believe these people think they’re hiding their internalized racism by saying All Lives Matter, but I can see it through those three words loud and clear. It makes you feel uneasy that you go to school with people that don’t see your struggle, or don’t care for your struggle. I am not going to just explain the downside of living through this movement even though I could really go on and on. The movement is beautiful and it shows the beauty and intelligence  black people hold. The feeling of your white peers contacting you to learn or express their sorrow  for their past behavior or ignorance towards the movement is one of the best feelings. It’s a reassurance that you’re actively making a difference and it gives you a little more strength to keep going. I know one day I can tell my kids or even the world about where I was in the Summer of 2020 protesting for my human rights with my loved ones, knowing that I made a difference, knowing that I educated my peers, knowing that I was never once silent. I’ll be able to look at this dark time in the bright future of peace and happiness knowing that the anxiety, the feeling of being a burden, the feeling that I’m not valued in the world’s eyes is behind me. This is what I strive for, the attainment of justice for my people helps ease the pain and struggle my allies and I feel. 

by Mojisola Ayodele