By: Darrah Blackwell

I will never understand, however, I guess I stand

Last week when I was in school, there was a lot of talk about a specific incident that happened with another girl in my grade. There were accusations that a white girl, Amelia, had called a Black girl, Brielle, a racial slur during class, which everyone was really upset about. Amelia had a questionable past, so many people weren’t shocked. I used to be super close friends with Amelia and she did use to say slurs as jokes and when people would call her out, I would defend her. It is her humor after all! Anyways, I couldn’t quite grasp why everyone was mad, but I thought that I should be mad too since this seemed like a big deal. When I heard about the incident, I went straight to Instagram and began posting the infographics on my story that I saw other people posting. Sometimes, I didn’t even read through them. I just posted them so that everyone would know that I wasn’t racist or anything.

The next day, I had biology with Brielle. I saw her sitting at the lab table with her friends and I overheard them talking about the incident. I had this gut feeling that I absolutely had to make it explicitly clear that I wasn’t racist. I just don’t want them to think I’m like a “racist” just because I am white, since nowadays it’s like EVERY white person is racist just because they make jokes. I went over to Brielle and her friends and interrupted them saying, “I stand with you!” with my fist in the air. They all looked at me and rolled their eyes in disgust. I was so confused on why they weren’t thanking me – I’m doing the right thing, aren’t I? After not receiving the response I wanted, I walked back to my lab table. I went on my phone and took “BLM” out of my instagram bio. 

After school, I planned to hangout with my friends, Sarah, Rick, Amelia, and Scott. I went over to Scott’s house and was greeted by his parents asking, “Did you hear about this whole Brielle and Amelia situation? The school sent out an email about the situation to all the parents on the PTO. In our opinion, the situation is not that serious, like it’s not like Amelia meant it in an oppressive way. We’ve known Amelia since her and Scott used to play in the backyard together when they were little, she would never mean any harm to anyone.” I responded with, “Yeah, I agree. Even though I’m not as close with Amelia as I used to be it’s just her humor like I don’t see what the big deal is.” Shortly after, Amelia, Sarah, and Rick arrived at Scott’s house. We all decided to hangout in Scott’s backyard. “So Amelia, did the school actually do anything about the whole incident about you and Brielle?” asked Sarah. “Nah, you guys know that they never do anything about these types of situations. I was going to get a 2 week suspension, but my dad talked it out with the principal and all I have to do is just apologize to Brielle.” replied Amelia. “Well that’s good!” I replied.

After hanging out with everyone, I went back home and started doing my homework. Afterwards, I got ready for bed while I tapped seamlessly through everyone’s stories. I reposted a couple and then went to sleep.